Caillou Saves The Day!

I've been having a hard time trying to get my step-daughter motivated into being more independent. From the way she acts, her mother & others just baby her all of the time, including the hubs from time to time. Every time I get her to try something new she has this huge melt down, and cries and cries. Ugh! So very annoying! Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out!! She's getting ready to turn 4, and there are some things that I think she should be doing or at least be attempting to do. My 22 month old son will at least attempt in taking off his shirt. He may not get his arms out, but he sure can pull the shirt over his head!

Over the summer I taught her how to take her shirt off. Oh, was this a battle. Tears, tears, and more tears.... I feel my mother's rage going through my veins, but I keep calm and try to calm her down and reassure her that she CAN do it. OH MY GOD! It shouldn't be this way should it? So now by the end of the summer she can take her shirt off without crying. It takes her a couple of tries, which is expected, but at least she is attempting to do it without a meltdown! Of course I always praise her and tell her how she is such a big and smart girl for doing it. It's just hard for me, because it seems like I am the only one doing this, and it has taken so long because of this. Plus I only get to work with her on this 4 nights a month since we only get her every other weekend. So progression is slow, but I think we might be getting somewhere.

So she was over this past weekend. We go through the usual at bath time and taking off the shirt, pants, and undies. Then we get to the PJs. I say to her, "hey, why don't you try to put on your undies, and PJ's all by yourself?" Did I say something wrong? Because we are in another meltdown.... She says that she doesn't want to. So in turn I ask her why she doesn't want to try? She just stares at me. That same annoying deer in the head light stare that her dad does..... Oh all the things she could have inherited from him, why this? So I ask her if she wants her mother to dress her for the rest of her life, and she says "yes". Oh God, please forgive my thoughts.... 

I don't fight this battle tonight.

The next day I get her dressed, and tell her to put on her socks and her shoes. She hands them to me and I say "No, you do it all by yourself". And here we go....... The melt down begins. My mother's rage starts to flow through my veins....

Light Bulb!!

I say to her, "you like watching Caillou right?" She says "yes". Alright here comes the bright idea... 

"Did you know that Caillou is 4, and you are getting ready to be 4 soon?"

Sniff Sniff "yeeess"

"So Caillou is 4 and he can get dressed all by himself! Don't you want to be a big kid like Caillou?"

Sniff "yeess"

I'm getting her attention now.

"Whenever Caillou can't do something, he tries and tries again until he can do it. Practice makes perfect. You can't always do something on the first try. So the more you practice, the better you will be at this!"

She then recalls an episode of Caillou where he got new shoes and didn't want to learn to tie them at first because he had such a hard time the first time he tried. But he kept practicing with his parents encouragement and soon he got the hang of it. Then he was so proud of himself and so were his parents. He felt like a big kid for doing something all by himself!

Wow, I thought. She does get something out of watching Caillou. I've always like this show, and approved my kids to watch it. Hey, now I'm proud of myself for this! 

So I tell her that's absolutely right! So dry up those tears and just try! "I know you can do it!" She stopped crying and then put on her socks and shoes all by herself! Oh how we celebrated! She smiled, and we cheered! Then the hubs came in, and I told her to tell him what she just did. She beamed as she told him that she put her socks and shoes on all by herself! He praised her, and kissed her. She was so excited!

THANK YOU CAILLOU!!

Since this was such a good idea to begin with, I thought that I would run with it... At bedtime, when it came to putting on the undies and PJs, I told her to try to do it by herself. "What would Caillou do?" (Haha that should be a patent WWCD) Get this.....NO BREAKDOWN!!!  YAY! She just did it, with my guidance of course. But no fussing or crying! How wonderful! Then it came to the buttons. She said that she never tried to button anything before, so I showed her, then she did the rest of the buttons. What great practice! She did so great! We had to do the "happy dance" after this. She was beaming, and it made me feel good to show her that she can do things!

Then today....

I got annoyed at the hubs. After all of this that we went through, he gave her her socks and shoes to put on. He left her side to go get something, and returned when she had her second sock halfway on. She holds her foot out to her dad, and he finishes putting the sock on and then her shoes....  WHAT? I ask him why he didn't let her do it, and of course he just stares at me with the deer in the head light stare and shrugs his shoulders. Nice. It's even better when both of them are starring at me with that look.